04
Feb
09

JB Cuteness Level

in : News/Gossip

Advertising Age has a special report on Jonas Brothers: Sources close to Disney say the company, which recently offered buyouts to 600 executives at its US theme-park division, has seriously considered targeting the heretofore immune ‘talent.’ Specifically, the company has been ‘taking a hard look at ‘right-sizing’ the Jonas Brothers.’ UPDATE: The article was written by Ad Age’s ‘humorist.’ So it’s a spoof, and shouldn’t be taken as fact.

An unnamed Disney executive revealed: ‘If you’ve ever heard these guys live, it’s pretty clear singing isn’t necessarily their strong suit. Their vocals, he points out, are electronically enhanced in the studio, and it’d be just as easy to make two brothers sound as good, or as bad, as the three brothers sound now. It’s just
a matter of twiddling some dials.’

The real brand strength of the Jonas Brothers, notes the source, ‘is their cuteness, but, let’s face it, they’re not all equally cute.’ As for their concert tours, ‘It’s all a blur anyway, it’s mostly about the light show, and the remaining two brothers probably can just jump around the stage more to compensate.’

Though he declined to discuss which Jonas might be at risk, a recent reader poll at teenmag.com suggests that Nick may have the least to worry about; he scored 49% in a recent ‘Jonesin’ for this Jonas’ survey, while Joe pulled 40% and Kevin just 11%.

The exec added: ‘Disney has always been a cute-driven company, and this is just about serving the consumer’s need for ‘cute’ more efficiently in a totally fugly economic climate. And I guess they could argue that in weeding out the least-cute Jonas brother, well, sure they’ll save a ton of money.

But just as significantly, the remaining two Jonas brothers, with their higher level of cuteness, will now be in a band that is, on average, significantly cuter. So the consumer gets ’super-served’ with cuteness.’ [oceanup]



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